Betty ford says i'm here all night
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
and she was petting her beer can
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
