I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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