I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
