In America we eat man semen.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It's official drugs can't kill me
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
