Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
