Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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