We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
