His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
