and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
