a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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