she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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