I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize