I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
