it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
