i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
