I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Two words: blizzard sex
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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