I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
