Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
