I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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