he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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