I like to think it a success when the cops are called
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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