Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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