I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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