It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize