on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
