We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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