I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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