Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
