scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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