Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
time to smoke my breakfast
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
