Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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