Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
