hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
