great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize