Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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