So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
