You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
