I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
