the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
