It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
that's an acceptable place to lick
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
