FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize