I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
