nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
