So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
