did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
