I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
