I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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