i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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