I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
