new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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