as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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