i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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