it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
