Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
