Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
