:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
