Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize