ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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