How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You're like the curious george of whores
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
